Please understand that women like men who are confident not men who are desperate. If you try to get her back, you will look desperate and that will ruin any chance of getting her back.
Just behave as if nothing happened. Don’t treat her in any special way. Treat her just like you would treat any other girl in your friends circle. Don’t ignore her either. It’s important to understand that attachment and aversion are two sides of the same coin. So there is not much difference between trying to get her and trying to ignore her. Either way you will keep thinking about her and feel miserable.
Thoughts about the relationship will keep coming in the mind. This is very normal. But the real question is whether we let these thoughts affect us in a negative way. The nature of the mind is to dwell on past pleasurable experiences unless it has something higher to cling onto. Thus, it’s important to have a higher source of happiness.
For this, the first thing you really need to understand and realise that you actually don’t need her for your happiness.
Happiness is actually a state within. You don’t need external things or situations for your happiness. By careful introspection, you will observe that you were actually depending on her for you happiness and thus, when she left, a void was created in your life.
Thus, working on developing yourself is the solution, so that you are actually able to fill this void, derive happiness and satisfaction from within. This happiness and satisfaction from within is actually the source of real self-confidence.
This self-confidence is extremely attractive. Developing this kind of self-confidence is the best way to get your ex-girlfriend back. Women love to see men who are focussed on their goals and have a vision for their future.
There are 2 things you need to do to make this happen and develop self-confidence:
1. Work on changing your external behaviour
- Keep yourself busy: This will ensure that you don’t have time to think about the past and procrastinate.
- Have daily, weekly and monthly targets: This will keep you focussed. Achieving these targets will give you the much needed confidence boost.
- Plan for where you want to see yourself 5 years from now and start working for it: This will help you to look forward in life and keep you motivated.
2. Work on yourself internally
- Learn to control you mind: Mind is the real source of most of the issues we face. It’s important to learn to control our mind so that we can stay focussed on our life ahead and not dwell on the past. I would suggest that you can try some meditation techniques to calm down the mind. The Hare Krishna Mantra meditation technique is something I found extremely useful. Here is a video about it:
- Have a higher purpose in life: As Martin Luther King Jr said, “A man who does not have something for which he is willing to die is not fit to live”. Unless we have something that is a source of motivation, it will become very difficult for us to face problems which come in the course of our lives.
I understand that this is a very difficult time in your life. I have gone through it myself. But believe me, this is actually a great opportunity in your life. When things are normal in our life, we actually don’t feel a need to work on ourselves. But it’s only in situations like these do we feel that burning fire within to change, improve and succeed. I was going through a similar situation in my first year of college. By the time I graduated, I was the best student of my batch/class, and now I have 3 companies of my own.
It’s important to take guidance and mentorship in this situation. Just some motivational quotes won’t make things happen.
If you work hard on yourself and do these things, you will really be brimming with self-confidence. This would be the best way to get her back.
Feel free to contact me for further guidance or mentorship. You can reach out to me by visiting: